October 22

Absurd (1981, d. Joe D'Amato)

Possibly Joe D’Amato’s masterpiece. Edmund Purdom (Pieces) is a biochemist/priest confronting a kind of Frankenstein monster whose blood coagulates fast (George Eastman, Anthropophagous the Beast), rendering him sort of…invincible? The reveal of Purdom’s priesthood is hilarious (he clutches that overcoat tight like a flasher until a cop finally forces him to reveal his dog collar) but most of the film is a genuinely scary battle between a brother and sister and Eastman’s degenerate regenerative creature.

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October 20

Tales from Earthsea (2006, d. Goro Miyazaki)

October 16

Magicians (2007, d. Andrew O'Connor)

October 15

Roar (1981, d. Noel Marshall)

Yeah, that’s a tiger on a skateboard.

A great hypocritical film. Noel Marshall and wife Tippi Hedren would like us to believe that there is nothing to fear but fear itself when it comes to lions and tigers, though almost no member of the cast or crew emerged from this film unscathed. I expected Wild Beasts and The Birds and Day of the Animals, but what I got was a kind of hybrid of Gods Must Be Crazy and Born Free.

October 12

Scary Movie 4 (2006, d. David Zucker)

“Well…I’ve always wanted a knife.”

October 10

10 Rillington Place (1971, d. Richard Fleischer)

This is a local shop for local people, we’ll have no trouble here.

October 9

Striking Distance (1993, d. Rowdy Herrington)

“I got my shield taken away for saying that a cop killed my father…and that a fireman raped my mother…and that a garbageman kicked my dog.”

Police Academy (1984, d. Hugh Wilson)

This movie was released in theaters about four months before I was born. Even I’ve aged better.

Clue (1985, d. Jonathan Lynn)

That’s not a clue. That’s a shower. (This, The Goonies, and Big Trouble in Little China are the essential films of my childhood).