May 16

Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (2012, d. Tim Heidecker)

Battle Yogurt man
To rule bazaar of bizarre!
Eat the softest meats.

Advertisements

May 12

Hider in the House (1989, d. Matthew Patrick)

Killer hides his pain
From his family and friends.
Also, hides in house.

8 Million Ways to Die (1986, d. Hal Ashby)

Crazy broken heart
Worse by bottles and bullets.
Hey, is she still there?

May 6

Microwave Massacre (1983, d. Wayne Berwick)

The wife’s leftovers.
At least this itchy bum knows
How to make her scratch.

May 2

Graveyard Disturbance (1987, d. Lamberto Bava)

Pit of all burdens
Is the pit of all made flesh.
A punk spree gone wrong.

Peopletoys (1974, d. Sean MacGregor and David Sheldon)

Five mad children change
Cottage dwellers to playthings.
Ring ’round the rosie.

Cover Me (1996, d. Michael Schroeder)

Nude models targets
Of transvestite murderer.
What a mood killer.

Dinner with a Vampire (1988, d. Lamberto Bava)

Hey Nosferatu,
You ought to be in pictures
In back of the reel.

April 30

Gymkata (1985, d. Robert Clouse)

That aerobic wit!
A fight to the death, winner
Takes the crazytown.

Star wars, nothing but
Star wars, I hope they don’t bar
Wars, let star wars stay…

Undefeatable (1993, d. Godfrey Ho)

Looney mixman looks
for his missing wife in the
faces of victims.

Yes, Madam! (1985, d. Corey Yuen)

Madams divided!
Scissor this silhouette’s neck
And make that hair roll.

Tunnels (1989, d. Mark Byers)

Giant Rats, New York,
A burrow so great it got
A name all its own!

April 29

Warning Sign (1985, d. Hal Barwood)

Eschatology!
Secret chemical weapons!
Too far, Mahoney!

Damned River (1989, d. Michael Schroeder)

Is my aim true? No!
The framing is off with all
that negative space.

April 28

Death Scream (1975, d. Richard T. Heffron)

M. Bison peddles
To catch Genovese killer!
Get the Shadaloo.

Savage Weekend (1979, d. David Paulsen)

My brother Daryl.
Or is it my other bro?
No, wait, that’s Larry.

The Undertaker and His Pals (1966, d. TLP Swicegood)

Lift here, pallbearers.
Burial without extras.
Office staff or meat?

The Willies (1990, d. Brian Peck)

Boy’s janitor pal?
A scat-singing alien!
Jeepers creepers, peeps!